my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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