I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
