i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
