these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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