Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
