We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
