But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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