I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
