if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
