hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
