shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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