You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just had sex bonerless
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
