I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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