I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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