My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
