Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize