Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
