woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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