You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
