found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
