No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
