woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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