How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
