Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
