But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
