i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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