He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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