Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
