ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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