JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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