Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Jerry, you need to find god
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
