Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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