we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
