Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
