so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
