That's intense
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
