I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
