Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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