apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
