dude i'm inner monologue high
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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