TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
