she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
