people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
areolas are like halos for boobs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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