i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The Olympian is in my bed
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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