Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
