why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
