My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
