Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dick very happy bro
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
