She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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