he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
