were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
