She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
