Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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