then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
