he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
