thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
