It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Floor bacon is actually really good
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
