Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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