sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize