Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
