its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize