I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
