What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
