I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
