Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
