I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
