I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Randomize
