i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
