Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
