Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
