i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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