her facebook's as public as her vagina
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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