Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I came so hard my ears popped.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
