you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
