Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Houston, we have a squirter
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
