How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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